This is a movie my suitemate made for his film class last semester. I’m in it and I also did the music for it. It’s called “64 Colors”
Category Archives: Adventure
Last weekend we finished all of our reports early, so we figured it would be a lark if we took some time to go find the Tiger Temple. Gerald warned us that it had an ancient curse, but we went anyways because Gerald had always been cruel to the newest interns and was having affairs with most of our wives.
We packed enough rations and shovels for several hours, making sure to include the proper temple excavation equipment. Arthur, from accounting, suggested the equipment list because he had taken a summer archaeology course from Johns Hopkins. Brad, from marketing, picked out the equipment because he had taken an online equipment correspondence course with a professor from Rhode Island School of Design. For the most part, we found these courses boorish, but nobody felt ungrateful for the assistance.
The train ride through the desert went pleasantly enough, although the snack cart ran out of scones very early on. In place of scones, each of us enjoyed two rations each, being careful to monitor everyone else’s consumption. Lawrence was caught with an extra ration- we boxed his ears then beheaded him because gluttony is one of the deadly sins. The execution staved our bloodlust, and many of us napped as we waited for the train to reach our destination.
Of course, rumor holds that civilization built the Tiger Temple near the ancient city of Ba’aklur, but Glen had the insight that the train stopped several hundred miles from Ba’aklur so the rumor was probably wrong. Satiated, we began digging almost immediately, leaving little of our strength in reserve. Sweat dripped down our foreheads onto our dark black suits- even the most organized members of our expedition had to continually tighten the knots on their ties.
After the sun had traversed a good portion of the sky, Harold said he found something, and upon further investigation it did, for all intents and purposes, appear to be the Tiger Temple. A foreign phrase was etched on its entablature. Dan had taken a night course in Lost Languages at the local community college so he read it aloud. We were disappointed with the translation because it lacked much of the inscription’s original beauty, but ultimately the expedition decided to award Dan a medal for his services.
Upon entering the Tiger Temple, we were immediately struck by the smooth, high walls on either side of us. Arthur attempted to sketch them in his journal, but he was no artist and, really, there was nothing to draw. In a small alcove we visited with the High Priest, who politely listened to our confessions but secretly wished he could forget everything he had ever experienced. We took Polaroid photographs of ourselves standing in front of the altars and then put them on the altars. At one point, Glen found a secret passageway that led to a room filled with gold. Brian gained an audience with the Oracle, who told him that Gerald was fucking his wife, but Brian already knew this and felt the Oracle had wasted his time.
Finally we reached the center room of the temple, the Tiger Room. Intricately carved ivory beasts spiraled up to the ceiling, lined with gems of such exquisite beauty that we wept uncontrollably for minutes. No one could speak, and after much silent deliberation we awarded the Tiger Room a medal because we had an extra one.
Then it was time to go. Some of the expedition stayed behind, and we gave them scented handkerchiefs in order that they would remember us fondly. The train took us back to our downtown skyscraper, which stretched higher than the Tiger Temple and seemed more sure of itself. We found the office to be empty except for a stack of coffee mugs in the break room and Gerald masturbating in the conference room. “I organized those mugs!” grunted Gerald.
No one had the heart to argue.
